Here are some fun clips I’ve noted over the last few days… thought I’d share them

First up:  Cat in a Jacket Sleeve…

Here’s “Upular” by Pogo:

If this doesn’t make you smile.. Merry Christmas from the Animals of YouTube:

Christmas Laser Beam Cats:

Our systems at work aren’t working properly so I can’t get any work done!  So… here we go… the 10 absolutely WORST songs ever created… according to ME… because everyone is entitled to my opinion!

10) Cher – Believe — please… stop! And could she have even done the song without the auto-tune? And didn’t she record this before her 92nd “Farewell Tour?”

9) David Soul – Don’t Give Up On Us — sweet merciful crap this is awful! Words can’t express!

Culture Club – Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? — yes. yes I do. The song opens with “Popularity Breeds Contempt” and that much is certain.

7) Bryan Adams – Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman? — Bryan… baby… JUST ROCK! For the love of all that is good and holy…

6) WHAM! – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go — Didn’t he get arrested for “going solo” in a restroom? Just sayin’!

5) ANYTHING by Creed — Like… “My Own Prison” or the intolerable tripe… “With Arms Wide Open” … truly the clincher for suck… the heartbeats at the beginning??? REALLY please… just…. SHUT… UP!

4) Billy Ray Cyrus – Achy Breaky Heart — OH MY GOD! This song still makes me cringe. At the height of its popularity the radio station I worked for was playing it every 70 minutes. Which means I got to hear it 3 times every day! I wanted to kill myself!

3) Europe – The Final Countdown — big hair, cheezy synthetic rock. Dear God… play some actual instruments dudes! Utter CRAP!

2) Spice Girls – Wannabe — Like “Achy Breaky Heart” above, at one point I was playing this song 4 times during a 5 hour shift. I didn’t need to kill myself because my soul died. And the “footsteps” at the beginning of the song? REALLY… what happened? Were you late to the session? UGH!

1) Ricky Martin – She Bangs — please make her stop doing that. And while you’re at it, Ricky… you stop too. Just stop.

So there you have it. Yes, I know you probably disagree… so post your own list.

UPDATE: Had to re-do all the links because blip.fm wouldn’t load.  Converted to imeem.com.
UPDATE II: Had to re-do all the links AGAIN because imeem makes you register to listen.  Stupid imeem.  Trying song.ly now.

I think the IDEA of New Year’s Resolutions is a great one. Most of the time these are motivated by the best of intentions… losing weight, eating healthier, traveling more, whatever… but most of us, myself included, tend to “forget” those resolutions before the calendar flips to February.  Since you probably shared those resolutions with your spouse, significant other, your mother and your friends, you know SOMEONE is going to razz you about your failure… I have the solution, one inspired by a post at Holidash*… make sure you include a disclaimer or qualifier so you can claim that you never made it a certainty that you would lose weight, or even take steps to do it… here’s an example:

I LOVE doughnuts… when someone brings in doughnuts, whether their those silly “donettes” you can buy in the grocery store or the ones that come from that big donut shop down the street… I… CAN’T… RESIST!  So suppose I want to make a resolution to curtail my doughnut intake in 2009, but I want to give myself an out when I eventually fail?   Here’s the solution…. instead of saying “I resolve to eat fewer donuts in 2009″ say something like “This is the year I’m going to think about eating fewer doughnuts!”  See…. the “This is the year” part completely distracts the “I’m going to think about” part… nice, right?  The key is to say it with some panache’ and enthusiasm! Or how about “I resolve to not eat any more donuts in 2009….*MUMBLE AS YOU WALK AWAY*”  The mumbled part can be “than I did in 2008″ or *this week” or “right now”  (that last one is handy if you’re caught with doughnut in hand…)

So there you have it.   I’m going to make a bold resolution for 2009:

I RESOLVE TO EAT MORE OR LESS DONUTS IN 2009 THAN I DID OR DID NOT EAT IN 2008!  (That about covers it… right?)

Happy Monday!

(NOTE: I originally published this on my page at KEY 103 …)

This article is quite entertaining if you’ve ever flown on a commercial airline.  It’s been floating around for some time…

From “The Economist”:

Welcome Aboard – The Economist

GOOD morning, ladies and gentlemen. We are delighted to welcome you aboard Veritas Airways, the airline that tells it like it is. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is upright and your tray-table is stowed. At Veritas Airways, your safety is our first priority. Actually, that is not quite true: if it were, our seats would be rear-facing, like those in military aircraft, since they are safer in the event of an emergency landing. But then hardly anybody would buy our tickets and we would go bust.

The flight attendants are now pointing out the emergency exits. This is the part of the announcement that you might want to pay attention to. So stop your sudoku for a minute and listen: knowing in advance where the exits are makes a dramatic difference to your chances of survival if we have to evacuate the aircraft. Also, please keep your seat belt fastened when seated, even if the seat-belt light is not illuminated. This is to protect you from the risk of clear-air turbulence, a rare but extremely nasty form of disturbance that can cause severe injury. Imagine the heavy food trolleys jumping into the air and bashing into the overhead lockers, and you will have some idea of how nasty it can be. We don’t want to scare you. Still, keep that seat belt fastened all the same.

Your life-jacket can be found under your seat, but please do not remove it now. In fact, do not bother to look for it at all. In the event of a landing on water, an unprecedented miracle will have occurred, because in the history of aviation the number of wide-bodied aircraft that have made successful landings on water is zero. This aircraft is equipped with inflatable slides that detach to form life rafts, not that it makes any difference. Please remove high-heeled shoes before using the slides. We might as well add that space helmets and anti-gravity belts should also be removed, since even to mention the use of the slides as rafts is to enter the realm of science fiction.

Please switch off all mobile phones, since they can interfere with the aircraft’s navigation systems. At least, that’s what you’ve always been told. The real reason to switch them off is because they interfere with mobile networks on the ground, but somehow that doesn’t sound quite so good. On most flights a few mobile phones are left on by mistake, so if they were really dangerous we would not allow them on board at all, if you think about it. We will have to come clean about this next year, when we introduce in-flight calling across the Veritas fleet. At that point the prospect of taking a cut of the sky-high calling charges will miraculously cause our safety concerns about mobile phones to evaporate.

On channel 11 of our in-flight entertainment system you will find a video consisting of abstract imagery and a new-age soundtrack, with a voice-over explaining some exercises you can do to reduce the risk of deep-vein thrombosis. We are aware that this video is tedious, but it is not meant to be fun. It is meant to limit our liability in the event of lawsuits. Once we have reached cruising altitude you will be offered a light meal and a choice of beverages—a word that sounds so much better than just saying ‘drinks’, don’t you think? The purpose of these refreshments is partly to keep you in your seats where you cannot do yourselves or anyone else any harm. Please consume alcohol in moderate quantities so that you become mildly sedated but not rowdy. That said, we can always turn the cabin air-quality down a notch or two to help ensure that you are sufficiently drowsy.

After take-off, the most dangerous part of the flight, the captain will say a few words that will either be so quiet that you will not be able to hear them, or so loud that they could wake the dead. So please sit back, relax and enjoy the flight. We appreciate that you have a choice of airlines and we thank you for choosing Veritas, a member of an incomprehensible alliance of obscure foreign outfits, most of which you have never heard of. Cabin crew, please make sure we have remembered to close the doors. Sorry, I mean: ‘Doors to automatic and cross-check’. Thank you for flying Veritas.” 

Personally, my all-time favorite airline JetBlue!  100 channels of XM and LiveTV on a transcontinental flight… always a plus in my book!